AS I look for new ways to explain the advantages of the PULSE frame over other aids to conversation I am struck by the consistency of thought leaders around the significance of an approach like the PULSE approach that incorporates, in a deliberate way, the elements essential for good clear communication.  Leaders do their work in Conversation. It is often assumed that they know how to have successful conversations by the time they get to a position that demands leadership skills.  PULSE is a core competency for leaders and anyone else who does their work in conversation.  As a PULSE professional you are at a distinct advantage because you understand the nuances and the nuts and bolts of productive, generative conversation.

We are all of two minds - left and right.  There are two approaches to most things.... okay maybe three.  Daniel Pink, in his book "A Whole New Mind"  writes about the differences of each side of the brain and the necessity of a cooperative bridge between them in order for us to continue to thrive in our modern world.  The book was written in 2007 and listening to it again on my drive yesterday I heard the optimism of the time before 2008.  I was struck by the optimism as well as the wisdom of what he was saying about our modern world and the needs for BOTH hemispheres of the brain to work together in order to make the changes, the adjustments necessary for the human race to build or rebuild a world that works for everyone.

The other thing that struck me was the way that the PULSE Frame and the PULSE training work to join the functions of both hemisphere.  If you are PULSE professional you already know how to use both sides of your brain to meet the needs of your clients.  The right side of the brain is where empathy and story reside.  This side represents the creative, interpretive skills we gain as we learn about PULSE and GHOST and POWER and HEART.  The left side is more analytically and logical and is best served with the structure of the PULSE frame as it moves through time from past to present to future, using a script to ensure that no step is missed. So PULSE represents a whole brain conversation.  It considers text AND context in ways that lead to sustainable resolution.

AS we move into a future we can experience through language (left brain) and images (right brain) the PULSE Frame serves all of us well. WE can use our " Whole New Minds".

If you need a refresher or would like to learn about PULSE for the first time please sign up for our webinar series  -  90 minute seminars you can attend from your own computer.  May 1st and 3rd and May 8th and 10th at 10:00 AM.  If you are interested email nancylove@pulseinstitute.com for more information.

I am not sure about how to define the value proposiiton that becoming a PULSE professional holds. You can maybe tell by now that we have been talking about it a lot amongst ourselves at PULSE, trying to get a handle on the subtle and yet significant changes that occur for people when they take the course. A PULSE Pfofessional is not only a mediator or a coach. They practice mediation and coaching and any other CONVERSATION FOR CHANGE with a different mindset and approach that honours their participants. They believe what Maya Anjou says .."People do the best they can with what they know. When they know better, they do better" And it is not just interest based. There is a compassionate competence and commitment to bringing people to an undersatnidng of each other if not agreement on the issue. The PULSE method is used to teach people the PULSE Frame. Participants experience the frame as they learn it. That experiential piece is valuable and allows for those "ah ha" moments to happen at an earlier stage of learning. It is elegant and sophisticated and very effective. The PULSE method and frame are deliberately structured for successful conversations with supporting theory and scripts for the beginner. The scripts ensure success from the beginning. It is a gift we give to participants. Like any script in theatre, it is a guideline for each performance and as the audience changes the delivery changes but at least you start with the end in mind and have something to rely on as you learn the story. Some people think that a script is not a good way for people to learn. They believe that people need to struggle to find their own way of dealing with mediation. They encourage micro-skills and probing and test a mediators worth on their ability to dig. I support the learning of micro-skills and I believe strongly that once you know them you use them sparingly. The script teaches you when and how to use them for best effect. When is a paraphrase appropriate? because sometime it isn't.... When is a probing question important? ... because sometimes it might make matters worse. Following the PULSE scirpt allows for participatns to see where and when on the map of the mediated conversation that a skill can be effective. PULSE professionals know not just when and how to apply the skills but also why they choose which skill becuase, with the help of the script, they get to experience its full effect as they practice and learn. I encourage the use of scripts as a learning tool for anyone who does their work in conversation. I encourage practicing with the script until the part becomes yours and you can BE rather than do. In the beginning we are all doers doing mediation or coaching before we can BE the mediator or the coach. I strongly believe that our method of training provides that confidence and competence more easily and quicker than most. I believe in it so much that the scripts for many conversations have been published in my latest book "The Complex PULSE" as an appendix AND we are considering expanding that appendix to include more scripts based on PULSE and creating a book of PULSE scripts. If you are a PULSE professional I would appreciate your feedback. What was your experience of the PULSE method? How did using the scripts work for you?

Jayne Warrilow was the keynote at a recent Day with the Masters event sponsored by the Calgary Chapter of the International Coaching Federation  (ICF). Jayne talks about resonance and how we notice and deal with fields of energy. It was an interesting day of just noticing how somethings and people resonate with you and others don’t. the radio wave metaphor to describe the power, connection and noise between people actually works quite well. Jayne convinced us that we had some control over that energy and its frequency and that we could use it to inform our actions.I still take everything back to PULSE which is a different kind of sound vibration but very much aligned with Jayne and her teachings. She is a true evangelist for awakening people’s attention to their energy and how it effects everything around them.PULSE represents to me the ‘how to’ of changing your energy level and charge. Practitioners use it to tune in and change the frequency of a conversation to a more positive exchange. Rather than allowing a powerful negativity to overwhelm a conversation, the practitioner is equipped with the questions that move people from one frequency to another in a constructive way.
More about this later…

I had the opportunity to pick up a book called Changing Behaviour.  It is written by a nurse educator and has some powerful thoughts and images about how to immediately transform relationships.  It is more like a work book than a text book on communication tools.  It has some ideas that are interesting especially when applied to coaching.
Nothing says a need for coaching skills like a life and death situation where behaviours must change or the alternative is death.  Even so many people, as the book points out, with rather die than switch their behaviour patterns.  The book goes back to the old Pain and Pleasure formula that are powerful motivators and reviews the wisdom of the theories that grew out of the 1980's shift in consciousness, attributed in the book to "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous".  The TV show worked to create a whole nation of people who now knew what they didn't have which caused pain.  Gone were the happy days.  Since that time Americans have worked harder and faster to win that prize of joining the moneyed people in their midst.
As a result, disease related to stress is up and Americans are working themselves toward heart attacks, cancer, obesity and many other life threatening conditions.  Changing behaviour takes it back to the relationship and provides researched evidence of how having good relationships trumps even being rich.
For me the most important part of the book was the list of factors that contribute to the potential for change. Three that stood out ... intention, skills and abilities and anticipated outcomes.  The author presents a set of Behavioural Engagement skills and an attitude she calls Pure Presence that closely resemble the PULSE Frame and the associated skills of Gentle, Honest, Open, Specific Talk, affirming that PULSE is a discovery of how good conversations occur.  "Changing Behaviour" provides the evidence from research for promoting collaborative conversation for coaching and facilitating especially in health care but also in our daily lives.

Did you know that we have a Group on linked in??? Neither did I!! I started a discussion on there this morning. I hope you will go and join the group because I was able to create a poll there to see how members use the PULSE Frame. Mediation, Negotiation, Coaching, Planning and other. I am interested on how people use the Frame.

I have been using it more and more as a way to organize my coaching conversations. I also use it to consult on conflict situations for leaders in organizations. It is a great way to get at the past present and future of the situation in a short conversations. I use the guiding questions. I set out the "How" of the conversation, time and protocol then uncover "What is this about?" and I don't leave the past until I am really clear what we are talking about. Then the question becomes "Why is this important? or What about this is important?" as we learn the BEACHs together. Once the criteria are clear then we start considering options with the question "What could you do?" and then to explain as we set out commitments using "What will you do?"

The other thing that is important in PULSE conversations is the stance. We approach people differently. We hold them capable. David Richo identifies five 'A' s for adult relationships. Attention, Acceptance, Appreciation, Affection and Allowing. As I read his book I realize that those elements also need to be the underpinning of the PULSE conversation. As practitioners or DELTAs (Detached, Emotionally mature, Loyalty, Trust, Attend) we are invited to become Detached ( not disinterested ). We Allow people to bring their reality without judgement. We are invited to be Emotionally mature... which means we can give Affection without taking sides ... we care. Loyal to the process and confident in the ability of the participants to come to a satisfactory conclusion. We Appreciate the skills they bring with them to do just that. Trust that people are doing the best with what they know speaks to Accepting them where they are. And Attend to everything speaks to the Attention that Richo talks about. All of these are important for building relationship and creating the neural link that allows participants to trust the DELTA and the process and to learn to trust each other.

I love it when things seem to fit. Thank you David Richo and Lois for sharing her book with me. Look for "How to be An Adult in Relationship."

We are planning a new session of train the trainer for March and April.  I am excited by the possibilities.  It is by invitation only and we haven't really done it for a couple of years now. Four webinars and two days face to face. We have some interest from some awesome PULSE practitioners and I am thoroughly looking forward to enjoying the deep conversations and thoughtful consideration of PULSE as a training tool.  So many trainers go into the business without methods classes in how to teach and the PULSE Professional class or train the trainer program really helps them to understand why and how learning works.  We look at the brain and brain science.  We look at the body and body knowledge and we look at the heart and heart intelligence too always mindful of how EVERYONE, no matter their perspective, learns.  I love the work and the opportunity to spend time with dedicated people who are willing to share what we know about conversations for change... making the world more peaceful, one conversation at a time, one conversation after another.  Hope you can join us.

The BEACHs A Sociological Construct for understanding behaviour in the workplace

I have been writing about BEACHs for more than 5 years now.  They provide a Sociological Construct through which we can begin to understand how and why people respond to each other and to situations in the work place. Using a questions like, "What gets you up in the morning?" provides a simple way to consider the nine different perspectives provided by the BEACHS contstruct.  Here they are....

Seeking Perfection:  Orientation – Present; Direction - With

You get up in the morning to a finely tuned routine that is timed and planned and consistent.  Throughout the day you look for ways to “tidy” up any messes you encounter, to edit any writing with errors and to remind people of the rules they may not be following.  You, of course know the rules and are happy to follow them. You have found a fashion style that suits you and you stick with it for the most part. You do not mind when others lean on you although you are more likely to be self reliant.  You can be peaceful see a role for standardization in creating peace.  When you are stressed you move away from others and become melancholy and distance, feeling quite sorry for yourself, seeking to differentiate yourself from the world.  When you are comfortable in your own skin and have met your need for organization … a place for everything and everything in its place … then you can indulge in some fun recreational activities, seeking excitement and enjoying life.

Seeking Connection: Orientation – Past; Direction - With

 You get up in the morning looking for loved ones and seeking opportunities to help others start their day on the right foot.  You take care of your own morning routines and rituals quickly so as not to interfere with the needs of others.  You may have left them a lunch in the fridge with a note to remind them of your love for them.  You arrive early to make coffee for your office mates and to catch up with everyone as they come in.  Sometimes you may hope for a more reciprocal relationship than ones you have where you are the giver.  You give of yourself as the day goes on, always ready to stop and chat, lend a shoulder or a hand.  You can be interested in a job well done if it improves your relationships with others and you can be interested in being successful if it results in more contact and connection with others.   You measure your success by the quality and quantity of relationships you have.  When you are stressed you take over and become bossy and demanding.  When you are feeling relaxed and have your need for relationships met you become creative and differentiated yourself in healthy ways.

Seeking Success: Orientation – Past; Direction - Towards

You get up in the morning ready to build on yesterday’s successes.  You dress for success and do what you know other successful people do in the morning.  You prepare yourself for taking on the world, working hard to overcome the next challenge and rise to the top of your chosen profession.  Work is joy for you and you never shy away from the work or the accolades that come with the dedication you demonstrate daily. You like to be connected to people especially if they contribute in some way to your ability to reach your goals. You are proud of your accomplishments. When you are stressed you withdraw and take on a “whatever” attitude toward life and friends.  When you are successful then you relax and move to a place where you seek security for yourself and others, where there is predictability and contentment for you and you can enjoy the success you have created.

Seeking Differentiation: Orientation – Past; Direction – Away

You get up on the morning thinking about the beauty you experienced the day before.  You like beautiful things and you work to create beauty in whatever you do.  You dress to express your own unique style being careful to differentiate your look from others.  You prefer to be alone so rituals around getting ready to go anywhere are important to you.  Sometimes you don’t even have to be going anywhere to get ready.  You like to fill your home with creative works of art and you enjoy the melancholy of the suffering artist.  Drama is fuel for you. You can be a thinker when it serves your art and you can be an entrepreneur.  When you are stressed you become very clingy and want to be totally enmeshed with someone else.  When you are satisfied with your life and the beauty in it you seek perfection in your art and your life, attending to details in a healthy way.

Seeking Detachment: Orientation – Future; Direction – Away

You enjoy your time alone to think and sometimes recent having to sleep at all.  You do so to reenergize your always active brain.  You are constantly analyzing and deconstructing machines and situations and even people if they are interesting enough to warrant a theory.  You live in the theoretical and getting dressed in the morning is a necessary mindless event.   You love to read and gather information and sometimes you find someone worthy of sharing your thoughts with but you do not share them with fools.  You are happy in your role as observer of life.  Sometimes you can appreciate the beauty in the world and sometimes you understand the need for loyalty and security.  When you are stressed you change your perspective and become the fun loving adventure seeker but that never really goes well for you.  You are more likely to develop addictions to your DRUG of choice.  ON the positive side you can take charge of a situation and move your theory into action, leading a cause or a project with precision.

Seeking Security: Orientation – Future; Direction - With

You get up on the morning and check that everything is where you left it and that no one has been in the room.  The night before you set the alarm to let you know when the alarm is going to ring. You check everything three times before you leave in the morning having left sticky notes everywhere just in case you forget.  You are prepared for the day.  You have sunglasses and umbrella even though you have checked the weather and there is no rain in the forecast.  You circle your car before you get in to make sure everything is okay and you circle the office when you get there for the same reason … to make sure no one has moved the fire extinguisher.  You are careful and always prepared for the worst case scenario.  You are loyal to your friends and colleagues once you trust then and you are looking for trust in your world. You like an adventure when it is safe and you like to consider theory when it adds to your sense of security and assuredness.  When you are stressed you become tyrannical.  When you are sensing that you need for security and predictability are met then you can become very centred and peaceful.

Seeking Excitement: Orientation – Future; Direction - Toward

You wake up each day excited by the prospect of a new adventure.  If you are facing a routine or boring day you are more likely to lollygag and drag your feet but if there is innovation and experimentation in the air then you are in.  You rarely do your morning routine in the same order as the day before.  You find yourself with one sleeve of your blouse or shirt on while you are shaving or putting on makeup.  You dress for fun, to amuse yourself and others.  You smile a lot and love to make others smile.  Entertaining comes natural to you. You can take charge to make sure everyone is enjoying themselves or you can make sure they are safe so that they can have fun.  When you are stress you get very picky and rule bound.  When your need for pleasure is satisfied you become very pensive and detached, thinking deeply about things in a healthy way.

Seeking Power: Orientation – Present; Direction – Toward

You wake up each morning ready to take on the world.  You keep fit and include exercise in your daily routine.  You are physically aware and others are aware of your prowess. You come at life and each day with gusto, taking on the challenges of slow moving people or traffic like a freight train.  You are confident about your role in the world and know what needs to get done and are willing to “make it so”. You fill any power vacuums that you perceive with your take charge attitude and you believe that you can help others be better.  You can move a cause a head with your great organizational skills and leadership ability.  You can enjoy life if it gives you control over things and you can be peaceful if that adds to your sense of control of a situation.  When you are stressed you move away from others in to the cave in your head and brood.  When you are satisfied with the sense of power you have then you become connected to others in meaningful healthy ways.

Seeking Peace: Orientation – Present; Direction – Away

You wake each morning to your peaceful sense of the world around you.  Things are as they should be.  You mediate and go through your morning ablutions at a gentle pace.  There is no hurriedness about you.  Life unfolds as it should.  You take your time getting to work, enjoying the peace and serenity you see in nature around you or the in people that you come in contact with.  You have perfected the art of “Whatever” and you mean it when you say it.  When others are losing their cool you maintain yours, seeing the bigger picture with ease and wisdom. You can see the need for rules and regulations when they lead to peace and you can see the need for power to maintain a peaceful, harmonious society or organization.  When you are stressed you become paranoid and suspicious of everyone and everything.  When you have satisfied your need for peace and harmony then you seek success in a healthy, respectful and peaceful way.